The Developer's Guide to Coffee
A lighthearted look at developer coffee culture, from espresso shots during debugging sessions to the perfect brew for code reviews.
Coffee and code go together like semicolons and JavaScript errors. Let's explore the sacred relationship between developers and their caffeinated companions. This is mostly satire. Mostly.
A programmer is just a machine that converts coffee into code. The better the coffee, the better the code. This is science.
— Ancient Developer Proverb
Coffee by Task
- Debugging: Double espresso (you'll need the focus)
- Code review: Americano (sip slowly, read carefully)
- Planning meeting: Latte (something to do with your hands)
- On-call incident: The entire pot (no judgment here)
- Friday afternoon: Decaf (pretend to work, actually browse Reddit)
The Coffee-to-Bug Ratio
Studies show (citation needed) that there's an optimal coffee intake for code quality. Too little, and you're sluggish. Too much, and your code looks like it was written during an earthquake. The sweet spot? Approximately 2-3 cups, consumed between 9 AM and 2 PM.
Pro tip: Never debug production issues after 4 PM without caffeine. Actually, never debug production issues after 4 PM period. That's tomorrow's problem.
About Elena Rodriguez
Guest contributor and startup founder writing about entrepreneurship, product development, and the future of work.